Peggy-B**ch and MotherF***er#3



Batch and Motherfunner? Nope.

I have many figures and diagrams to show you this week based on attachment and how we regulate our affections and the trend/patterns there within.

Below, the secure and dismissive attachment styles based on a formula to predict these such personality reactions. The idea behind the working model is the predictability of results by using 2 variables, Positive and Negative, for two separate categories of Sociability, which is our thoughts about others, and our own identity and Self-esteem, thoughts about self. Pretty easy equation.

Security-based strategy of affect regulation
(thoughts about self)
Positive Negative  
(thoughts about others)
Positive Secure Anxious–preoccupied  
Negative Dismissive–avoidant Fearful–avoidant  


The table shows the predictability to be a secure person ONLY when having positive thoughts about others and ourselves. This makes so much sense. If he generally perceive being social as negative but love yourself, the attachment is Dismissive-avoidant. If you hate yourself, and everyone else, the personality trait of a Fearful-avoidant person emerges. Ever notice the ebb and flow of self-esteem? When you loved your friends and hated yourself, and became anxious-preoccupied?

We can be so many people in our life time. The nice lady, the bitch, the gentleman, the motherfucker.

The security based strategy, penned by psychologists Mikulincer, Shaver and Pereg, have a 3 part model showing the dynamic of the strategy. The diagram follows the sequence of events, starting at everyday activities. The first model is a secure person strategy.

1st strategy

The second strategy is the anxiety attachment strategy or hyperactivation strategy.

2nd strategy

And last but never least we have the attachment avoidance strategy.

3rd strategy


All 3 Beasts serve a purpose, but is it an appropriate strategy for the environment? Is the perceived threat real? The best possible scenario is if you and your partner respond positively.  What does that mean? It means we all need support for each part of life, unconditionally within reason, from our partner. The relationship model is relationship specific within support, which makes sense when we need different things from different people. You wouldn’t ask a Doctor to fix your house, nor your contractor….you get it. We love specifically too. We love our children differently from our friends to our parents, our pets and partner. Sometimes, we each need a little help from others.

That is predictable. That can also be #intentionalmotivation.



What did a friend do for you this week? Want to thank them? Post their photo and intentional movement that made you feel loved with the hashtag #intentionalmovement

Just a reminder, our September Start for our 6 month pledge to #GabrielandRyan s wedding fund begins soon! Buy the book Crowing Love, and all proceeds will be donated to being a part of something beautiful for someone else.

For more info:

Mikulincer, M.; Shaver, P.R.; Pereg, D. (2003). “Attachment theory and affect regulation: The dynamics, development, and cognitive consequences of attachment-related strategies”. Motivation and Emotion27: 77–102

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